Puppy Pimpin'!

I GOT A PUPPY THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!! I can't stop saying this. Her name is Tuesday.

 Everyone, meet Tuesday

Tuesday, meet everyone!! *squeal*

I do have one widdle caveat. She (puppy) isn't mine permanently. It's more of a puppy sitting thing, or puppy borrowing really. Thing is, I love puppies (after babies), I love their little dumb puppy stuff that they do, I love their little bodies and their baby barks and their puppy breath (don't judge me). I spend hours looking at puppy vids on youtube. If you were to look at my youtube account, here are the top 5 titles of the videos that youtube thinks I'd like to see:

Puppy sleeping with teddy bear
Puppy playing with string
Dumb puppy runs into door
Puppy sleeps next to baby
Cutest puppy ever

Yeah, I'm hooked and they know it. .

So this is why I had to take advantage of this puppuation (puppy situation). At work, a lovely employee had 4 shih tzu puppies and she wanted to give away to nice homes and I asked her to borrow it for a weekend, because well... I wanted a puppy. I just couldn't give up the possibility of a puppies!! (yes, I said "a puppies"). I know I can't really have one, I work 9 hr days and travel every few weeks depending for work, it's just not fair to a living creature. But, since she was open to me borrowing said puppy I was so excited.  I kept telling any and everyone who would listen that, "I'M GETTING A PUPPY THIS WEEKEND" Friend Alissa (see below) was great reminder of reality when she would correct me by correcting me and saying "You're getting a puppy FOR the weekend."

*Sigh*, in any event, this puppy is going to be put to work. I had a nice plan to make sure this puppy wasn't just going to be some free loader in my house. She needed to earn her keep, cuz cute don't pay the bills. mmmkay?

*silent scream*

Anyhoo, part one of the plan included using this puppy to find myself a man. Yes. The puppy will be pimped. even though she weighs only about 4 lbs, I planned on taking her to a dog park to ONLY mingle with dogs with male owners. I kept trying to train her to bark at dogs with female owners, but the bark was so cute that we had to revert to the same thing we do to short men who approach us. Throw pebbles at them. Her throwing skills are pretty legit.


Friend Alissa had to give me a reminder though, that since she's so widdle and doesn't have her shots, it's not safe for her to be with other doggies. Grrrr, why does she have to be so right? I do care about the puppy though, so I don't want her to get sick. Alas, we must try to get to part two of the plan. Get her ass a job.

Tuesday & I <3 Alissa

We've been searching craigslist (she doesn't have her papers) to see if we could get her to be a hostess or a waitress or something. Hopefully someone will reply. If I don't hear back soon, we're most def, hitting up the interwebz. I mean, since I watch youtube, why can't she be the next youtube sensation? I've been following her around with  a camera saying things like, "go", "jump", "do something funny", "I want a million plus views on youtube"...she knows what I mean, she's just shy.

Part three of this plan is to use her to get some more followers. I'm also counting on you followers to get me more followers, but I'll just use her as well.

Yeah, work it!!

So yeah, over the next 3 days, we'll see how much she succeeds in any of my plans laid out for her. Till then, i'mma be steady pimpin. Pimp out. 

N.B. No puppies were harmed in the making of this post.

Hi! My name is Sarah and I'm building a house...I think?

I'd first like to start this post off by saying, I am NOT a bad person. No siree bob, I am a kind and nice person. Other things about me apparently, is that I live in Canada and I am doing a ton of work on a new house.

WTF am I talking about? I know...here goes.

SO, my email address has a formula like this:  initials of my middle names+one of my last names@ email.com. When you receive an email from me, it shows up as: real name + one of my last names. There is someone out there in this vast green earth who has an email very similar to mine and this person might also have a lisp, bad handwriting, a speech delay, a stutter, or she could just be plain stupid, because for some reason, I receive many of her emails. I mean, how many times can she say the wrong email? Facts we do know are listed above, she goes by Sarah, lives in Canada and is fixing up her crib.

Here are some of the emails and my responses.

Random Canadian person: Hi Sarah, we have the tile samples that you ordered. Please call us and let us know when you want to come see them.

 Me: I'm sorry, you may want to call your client...I live in the US and my name isn't Sarah.

 No response. Then another:

Random group email: Sarah, have you gotten the plan design from Josh* yet? I think we need to make sure everyone involved is aware of the changes.

Me: I'm sorry, this is not Sarah...I think you keep mixing up email addresses, please double check. 

Nothing, no thank you. No "I'm sorry". These were pulled from my inbox, the others I deleted, but they all have the same things, I swore it was spam. So I just hear from a few more random people, tile samples, companies that may be chosen to work on plumbing...and I say the same thing "I'm sorry, this is not Sarah...I live in the US. " Why? Because I'm a nice person!!

I don't know why I keep having to repeat that I live in the US, but seeing as most of their emails are like something@somethingelse.ca. I am assuming that by telling them this, they realize..."oooooh, this REALLY isn't Sarah."

So I kinda got annoyed after being so nice (I AM a nice person!) and this was the most recent email I got:

Random electric company: Hi Sarah, we need approval to go in and start the work.

Me: You know what, knock yourself out.

AND THEN I GET A RESPONSE!! FINALLY, A RESPONSE:

Hi Sarah.  On October 16th, I allowed 3 hours and 60.00 of material to deal with the master bedroom track light, the plug and cable jack for the TV, the ensuite light fixture, and the pot light trims in the basement.  I brought Jana* along to help and maybe get done in 2 hours.  When we arrived, the scope of the work increased.  The light fixture in the entrance and the track light in the kitchen needed to be installed.  When we went to install the dimmer switch in the master bedroom, we found problems with the existing wiring that took some time to sort out.  We needed to fish wires through the attic to the crawl space behind the ensuite to correct the situation.  The crawlspace is now full of insulation, which made cleanup an issue (time wise).  When we tried to install the track light, the plaster around the electrical box fell away.  We installed a dimmer switch in the office upstairs.  But when the switch plate was taken off the wall, we found no electrical box to sit the dimmer in.  So a switch box was cut into the wall.  So, a 3 hour job for one guy turned into a 4 hour job for 2 guys, at a price of 520.00.  I charge 80.00 per hour and Jana* goes for 50.00 per hour.  That was on October 17th.  On October 27th, we returned to install the track light in the master bedroom, and fill the holes around the electrical box with plaster.  The ensuite light fixture required some time to install.  It had to be drilled and screwed to allow for a sideways installation.  We installed 2 bedside wall lights in the bedroom.  We clamped 2 more track heads to the track light in the office, and filled the holes in the wall beside the switch plate.  We were there for 3 hours, at a price of 390.00.  John-David * has a copy of the PowerCheck report.  On the last page, it details the work we did to acheive a low risk rating.  The only outstanding issue is the electrical service.  When you get into the next phase of the renovation, keep in mind that the electrical meter must move to the southwest corner of the house.  This will resolve the clearance problem described in the house inspector's report and the PowerCheck report.  It is not a safety issue, but a code issue.  When you get the permit to deal with the changes in the house, I will need to take out an electrical permit.  So the changes to the service will be included in that permit.  The cost of installing outside lights as I discussed with John-David is 590.00.  Hope this helps.  Jill*.

Me: You may want to call Sarah O_o

Uhhhhh, yeah. Serves them right? *gulp* Hasn't heard back yet.I hope Sarah was okay with the work done though, because the Powercheck report went well right?

 Funny enough, I'm not sure it ends there. I got another email that for the first time has nothing to do with house renovations, but I'm actually not sure this one is for Sarah. What is with this email address that I chose??

This one came with a pic!! I think it may be from an American, and YES, for evil purposes of my blog, I'm responding to the sender

Her:

OK now I have your e-mail.  So watch out.

Just got this picture from the kids and thought I would pass it on to you.  Was taken when Colorado meets Syracuse in Syracuse for Thanksgiving.

Jessa* and Jinger in front.  Joseph and Josiah on couch.  Colorado kids, Joy-anna on right arm of couch, Jedidiah in SU colors, and big sister Jeremiah next to her Aunt Jason.  Triplets James on Justins lap, Jackson with Johannah and Jennifer next to Jeremiah  Other than that who cares, just wanted to show u the family.

Take care

Everyone looks so happy :)

I responded :)

Me: Haha! Everyone looks amazing!

Ignore my name change, I changed it for the emails. It was great talking to you!!

Well, we all know they spoke to exchange emails, also, my name comes up differently if this WAS Sarah, hence the name change stuff.  Sad thing is, she never uses a name!

Thankfully, she responds rather quickly and says:

????????????????? I am confused or what not.  Y the Change In Your Name.  Almost did not open it. 

Jordyn* had his surgery yesterday.  Was scheduled for 1:00, did not take him till 3:30, never got home till 7:30.  What a day.  Hope u r doing OK.

I heard from Josie, lovely letter.

Take care

Lol! I'm about to respond and tell her that I'm happy the surgery went well. Not sure what else I should say? Any thoughts?

*All names have been changed to represent each of the 19 & counting Duggar children in order of their birth.

How I lost my black card on Thanksgiving

So yeah. I'm black. Well really, I'm brown and really and truly, I'm Trinidadian, but for any old person looking at me, they would assume, I'm "black" aka African American. As a result there are some things I am expected to be able to do, which include the following:

• Dougie (done)
• Teach you how to dougie (taught)
• Cornrow (mehhh, I could manage)
• Like fried chicken (who doesn't?!)
• Know the meaning of the slangs in rap songs (I make up believable definitions)
• Make a proper mac n cheese.....PROBLEM

I was nicely invited to a lovely Thanksgiving meal, by dear friend that we love Nikki (see pic below) and since I consumed a most scrumptious Mac n Cheese at gathering with friends, I knew this would be the perfect meal for me to bring along to my Thanksgiving celebration. Now mind you, Nikki didn't care what I brought, she by no means thought I had to bring said dish simply because of my lovely skin color. But I just HAAAADDD to make macnsheese.

 

We <3 Her

I bought all necessary ingredients needed: elbow macaroni, cheddar cheeses, milk, breadcrumbs, I even through in Monterrey jack for a kick. So on Thankgiving, I decided to be even fancier and make the cheese sauce like a true chef would and started with a roux Of course, I had the heat too high and burned the butter and then it didn't take well too the flour and thickened waay too quickly. I really know how this works in theory and I really KNOW how to make macnsheese without the blue box...but I just had, well, a moment :(

Of course, as it became a flour-y, starch-y disaster, I considered a few options, which included taking the dish to the house anyway and checking to see how many people really attempted to eat it OR scratching the whole thing OR eating it all myself, though it tasted like warm dough and cheese OR cry and show up emptyhanded. But Nikki's family is far too nice for me to watch them squirm as they attempted to eat my warmdoughncheese and they would never trust my cooking after that, so I decided to scratch the idea and make my famous mini apple pies that taste like heaven in your mouth.

Made with Love Got Dammit!

When I told dear friend Andrew about my fiasco, he placed my black card on a 3 day suspension and I had to find a way to reestablish it... FOUND. Cause a fight on black Friday. Durr. He agreed that this would reinstate formerly suspended black card and even give me extra points if I fought at Wal-Mart and extra EXTRA points if I were arrested for it. 

On Black Friday, bright and early at 11am, I found myself at Wal-Mart, hair pinned back and ready to fight over low cost items to redeem my black card. I went in there, and almost kicked this lady's ass when she told me she was reaching for the same cart I was. I was off to a good start. In order to start a good fight, I decided to not take things from shelves, instead...from other people's carts. It worked well, I was arguing about 15 mins in.

Once the Wal-Mart employees threatened to call the cops, I knew I was back in the black good graces and I was out the door and ready to go do the electric slide or make a jug of kool-aid. 

The End.

P.S.-- Of course I didn't steal from other people at Wal-Mart, though I did stare very intensely at a small hispanic child who was looking at my new Wii game, so it's pretty much the same.